This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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