I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
