Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize