If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just had sex on a roof
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
