There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
