matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she smelled like a LAN party
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
