I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
