Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
