instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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