What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
