hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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