and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
