I wanna bring you to show and tell
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
