If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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