I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
