hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
