Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if only i could text you this smell
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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