Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize