You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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