We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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