that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
