is your mom at the bar?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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