she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
