The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
