Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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