I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
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