Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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