Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize