I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am puke
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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