Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
