Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
