I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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