i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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