so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
