do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
