IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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