you didnt know i had herpes?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
