I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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