its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
