If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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