dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
