When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
