You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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