i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
