I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she looked like the before picture.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
