I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
