You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
