oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
