Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
