I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
