Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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