You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
