bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
