once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
