why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
