RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
