I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
