my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
