I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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