Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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